I am not going to lie to you. Before I gave birth, I did think that postpartum was depression and anxiety. But my doctor kept using the word, and I know now that the reference is to the word's etymology.
following childbirth or the birth of young.
Before my pregnancy, I only heard the word used in conjunction with depression for both pregnancy, trauma, and war veterans. In my mind, in my thinking, I had problems disassociating the words postpartum and depression. I also had issues classifying my child's birthing experience as trauma; this later problem is as a result of me comparing my experience to others. And if it's one thing you ought not to do during this time, it's compare.
It has taken some time, and many post-birth visits to my OB and the pediatrician to reprogram my mind. Now I can finally admit that my postpartum experience is of concern. I take the surveys that gauge where I am every month, at the pediatrician, but nothing is alarming. Those surveys ask about depression and crying. I'm not explicitly depressed, and I have not been crying. But I do feel like I'm struggling. And I can honestly say that where I am in my day-to-day life is not where I want to be.
I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning because I'm tired and I just want to sleep. I'm not doing the right things that I need to do as an adult taking care of her self. I'm not adulting. I'm mothering, just not adulting. And this where I am concerned. Despite all the things that are going on in my life, I should still be exercising, eating right, doing self-development.
I know people would say that I shouldn't stress. I just gave birth. You should take your time. And I will, but I'm not even on the path to success because I can find every excuse to sulk. I use my LO as an excuse. I use my exhaustion as an excuse, and that is not good for me. If I continue on this path, I'm going to look back and regret my actions because I procrastinate. This is my postpartum struggle.
If you are like me, it's essential for you first to identify your postpartum struggle, so you best affect your postpartum experience. We all have struggles in our postpartum. We think about what we want for our child, during their infancy, but not what we want or need for ourselves as caregivers of our infant/s. I need to be healthy and active so that I can keep up with my daughter. I need to be rested so that I can endure the day. I need to be a good adult so that I can be a good mother.
What's your postpartum struggle? And what is your goal to address that?